Curse of the Fire Penguin

Enchant Creature

Curse of the Fire Penquin consumes and confuses enchanted creature.

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Creature Penguin

Trample

When this creature is put into a graveyard from play, return Curse of the Fire Penguin from your graveyard to play.

6/5

Yet Another Æther Vortex

Enchantment

All creatures have haste.

Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed.

Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are in play under their owner's control in addition to being in that library.

It puts the "vortex" in "flavortext."

Form of the Squirrel

Enchantment

As Form of the Squirrel comes into play, put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token into play. You lose the game when it leaves play.

Creatures can't attack you.

You can't be the target of spells or abilities.

You can't play spells.

Name Dropping

Enchantment

Gotcha Whenever an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha" If you do, return that card to your hand.

Gemini (May 21–June 21) This week is a good time to branch out and meet others, but don't forget your roots. Avoid commitments and open flame.

Charm School

Enchantment - Aura

When Charm School comes into play, choose a color and balance Charm School on your head.

Prevent all damage to you of the chosen color.

If Charm School falls off your head, sacrifice Charm School.

The Cheese Stands Alone

Enchantment

If you control no cards in play other than The Cheese Stands Alone and have no cards in your hand, you win the game.

The meat, on the other hand, has frequent visitors.

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

Enchantment

Speak only in rhyming sentences. If you do not, sacrifice I'm Rubber, You're Glue.

Say "I'm rubber, you're glue. Everything bounces off me and sticks to you": Target spell or ability, which targets only you, targets another player of your choice instead. (The new target must be legal.)

Bureaucracy

Enchantment

Pursuant to subsection 3.1 (4) of Richard's Rules of Order, during the upkeep of each participant in this game of the Magic: The Gathering® trading card game (hereafter known as "PLAYER"), that PLAYER performs all actions in the sequence of previously added actions (hereafter known as "ACTION QUEUE"), in the order those actions were added, then adds another action to the end of the ACTION QUEUE. All actions must be simple physical or verbal actions that a player can perform while sitting in a chair, without jeopardizing the health and security of said PLAYER.

If any PLAYER does not perform all the prescribed actions in the correct order, sacrifice Bureaucracy and said PLAYER discards his or her complement of cards in hand (hereafter known as "HAND").

Censorship

Enchantment

When Censorship comes into play, choose a CENSORED word.

Whenever any CENSORED player says the chosen CENSORED word, Censorship deals 2 CENSORED damage to him or her.

Editor's note: There were no suitable flavor text submissions for this card.

Checks and Balances

Enchantment

Whenever any spell is played, counter that spell if each player, other than the caster and his or her teammates, agrees to choose and discard a card. Those players must discard those cards after agreeing.

Checks and Balances may be played only in a game with three or more players.

Common Courtesy

Enchantment

Counter any spell unless its caster asks your permission to play that spell. If you refuse permission, Sacrifice Common Courtesy and counter the spell.

"You didn't say the Magic word."

Fowl Play

Enchantment - Aura

Enchanted creature loses all abilities and is a 1/1 creature that counts as a Chicken.

"I feel like chicken tonight!"

Free-for-All

Enchantment

When Free-for-All comes into play, set aside all creatures in play, face down.

During each player's upkeep, that player chooses a creature card at random from those set aside in this way and puts that creature into play under his or her control.

If Free-for-All leaves play, put each creature still set aside this way into its owner's graveyard.

Psychic Network

Enchantment

Each player reveals the top card of his or her library to all other players by continuously holding it against his or her forehead. This does not allow a player to look at his or her own card. (That card still counts as the top card of your library. Whenever you draw a card, draw that one and replace it with the next card of your library.)

Sorry

Enchantment

Before playing any spell, if a copy of that spell card is in any graveyard, the spell's caster may say "Sorry." If he or she does not, any other player may counter the spell by saying "Sorry" as it is cast.

If any player says "Sorry" at any other time, Sorry deals 2 damage to that player.

Handcuffs

Enchantment

Target player keeps both hands in contact with each other. If he or she does not, sacrifice Handcuffs and that player sacrifices three cards in play.

"That was fun! Now me."
-Gwendlyn Di Corci

Ow

Enchantment

Whenever any creature damages a player, for each Ow card in play, that player says "Ow" once or Ow deals 1 damage to him or her.

Have you ever noticed how some flavor text has no relevance whatsoever to the card it's on?

Volrath's Motion Sensor

Enchantment - Aura

When Volrath's Motion Sensor comes into play, choose target hand controlled by an opponent. Enchanted player balances Volrath's Motion Sensor on the back of that hand.

If Volrath's Motion Sensor falls off the hand, sacrifice Volrath's Motion Sensor and that player loses 3 life.

Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire

Enchantment

Whenever any player taps a card, that player gives control of that card to an opponent at end of turn.

If a player does not tap any nonland cards during his or her turn, Burning Cinder Fury of Crimson Chaos Fire deals 3 damage to that player at end of turn.

Ricochet

Enchantment

Whenever any spell targets a single player, each player rolls a six-sided die. That spell is redirected to the player or players with the lowest die roll. If two or more players tie for the lowest die roll, they reroll until there is no tie.

Cardboard Carapace

Enchantment - Aura

For each other Cardboard Carapace card you have with you, enchanted creature gets +1/+1.

Errata: This does not count any Cardboard Carapace cards in play that you control or in your graveyard, hand, or library.

. . . that exciting . . . about . . .

Mine, Mine, Mine!

Enchantment

When Mine, Mine, Mine comes into play, each player puts his or her library into his or her hand.

Each player skips his or her discard phase and does not lose as a result of being unable to draw a card.

Each player cannot play more than one spell each turn.

If Mine, Mine, Mine leaves play, each player shuffles his or her hand and graveyard into his or her library.

Squirrel Farm

Enchantment

: Choose a card in your hand. Covering the artist's name, reveal the card to target player. If that player cannot name the artist, reveal the artist's name and put a Squirrel token into play. Treat this token as a 1/1 green creature.

"And the ignorant shall fall to the squirrels."
-Chip 2:54

Vow of Flight

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, has flying, and can't attack you or a planeswalker you control.

"Soaring is wasted on the winged."
-Edric, Spymaster of Trest

Vow of Malice

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, has intimidate, and can't attack you or a planeswalker you control.

"I grant you blades-on the condition that they are not pointed at me."
-Damia, Sage of Stone

Stranglehold

Enchantment

Your opponents can't search libraries.

If an opponent would begin an extra turn, that player skips that turn instead.

The correct answer to a barbarian's riddle is to choke on your cleverness and die.

Vow of Lightning

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +2/+2, has first strike, and can't attack you or a planeswalker you control.

"Ruhan would never agree to such terms."
-Ruhan of the Fomori

Vow of Wildness

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +3/+3, has trample, and can't attack you or a planeswalker you control.

"Savagery is the birthright of every creature that draws breath-or wishes it could."
-Karador, Ghost Chieftain

Unlikely Alliance

Enchantment

: Target nonattacking, nonblocking creature gets +0/+2 until end of turn.

"Strange alliances are alliances still, and provide the same protection."
-King Darien of Kjeldor

Nature's Blessing

Enchantment

, Discard a card: Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature or that creature gains banding, first strike, or trample. (This effect lasts indefinitely. Any creatures with banding, and up to one without, can attack in a band. Bands are blocked as a group. If any creatures with banding a player controls are blocking or being blocked by a creature, that player divides that creature's combat damage, not its controller, among any of the creatures it's being blocked by or is blocking.)

"Be open to the blessings, whatever their form."
-Kaysa, Elder Druid of the Juniper Order

Winter's Night

World Enchantment

Whenever a player taps a snow land for mana, that player adds one mana to his or her mana pool of any type that land produced. That land doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.

Murder Investigation

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature you control

When enchanted creature dies, put X 1/1 white Soldier creature tokens onto the battlefield, where X is its power.

"Every death has a web of consequences. Our job is to find the spider."

Illness in the Ranks

Enchantment

Creature tokens get -1/-1.

"Selesnya denied us tribute. Let's show them the error of their ways."
-Milana, Orzhov prelate

Tin Street Market

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant land

Enchanted land has ", Discard a card: Draw a card."

"Sometimes I stroll along Tin Street and watch citizens busy with their daily lives. It reminds me why I do my job."
-Arrester Lavinia, Tenth Precinct

Dying Wish

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature you control

When enchanted creature dies, target player loses X life and you gain X life, where X is its power.

"I wish I could rewrite my every deed and kill you with my first breath instead of my last."

Way of the Thief

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +2/+2.

Enchanted creature is unblockable as long as you control a Gate.

A true shortcut isn't a way other people don't know; it's a way other people can't go.

Hold the Gates

Enchantment

Creatures you control get +0/+1 for each Gate you control and have vigilance.

"We grew up on these streets. We know them better than any Boros grunt from Zelzo."

Madcap Skills

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

Enchanted creature gets +3/+0 and can't be blocked except by two or more creatures.

The larger the crowd, the harder it is for them to run away.

Soul Ransom

Enchantment - Aura

Enchant creature

You control enchanted creature.

Discard two cards: Soul Ransom's controller sacrifices it, then draws two cards. Only any opponent may activate this ability.

Blind Obedience

Enchantment

Extort (Whenever you cast a spell, you may pay . If you do, each opponent loses 1 life and you gain that much life.)

Artifacts and creatures your opponents control enter the battlefield tapped.

"By the time your knees have worn through your robe, you may have begun to learn your place."